Why Prayer Feels Hard
Christians widely agree that prayer is essential — and widely admit that they don't pray as much as they'd like. This isn't a modern problem. The disciples asked Jesus, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1). The Apostle Paul urged believers to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), which implies it requires intentional effort. If prayer were simply natural and effortless, no such exhortation would be needed.
The obstacles are real: distraction, a sense of inadequacy, uncertainty about what to say, and the busyness of daily life. The good news is that the Christian tradition offers rich, practical wisdom for overcoming exactly these obstacles.
Start Small and Be Honest
One of the most common mistakes is beginning with overly ambitious prayer goals. Committing to an hour of prayer every morning when you currently pray rarely will almost certainly fail. Instead:
- Start with five to ten minutes at a consistent time each day.
- Choose a time that fits your natural rhythm — morning works for many, but evening or lunchtime works for others.
- Find a specific place for prayer, if possible. A dedicated chair, corner, or space helps signal to your mind that it's time to be still.
Use a Structure: The ACTS Model
Many people find that an unstructured prayer time quickly devolves into silence or distraction. A simple framework can help. One of the most widely used is ACTS:
- Adoration — Begin by praising God for who he is, not what he has done. Focus on his character: his holiness, love, faithfulness, wisdom.
- Confession — Honestly acknowledge specific sins or failures from the recent past. This is not about guilt, but about honesty before God.
- Thanksgiving — Give thanks for specific blessings, both large and small. Naming specific gifts cultivates genuine gratitude.
- Supplication — Bring your requests and the needs of others before God. Keep a simple list if it helps you remember what to pray for.
Pray with Scripture
One of the most powerful methods for sustaining prayer is praying directly from the Bible. The Psalms in particular were written as prayers — they give voice to the full range of human experience before God, from exultant praise to anguished questioning. Try reading a psalm slowly, pausing to make each line your own prayer. This practice, sometimes called lectio divina (holy reading), has been used in Christian monasteries for over fifteen centuries.
Don't Neglect Silence and Listening
Western Christians in particular tend to fill prayer entirely with words. But the contemplative tradition reminds us that prayer is a conversation, not a monologue. After speaking, practice resting quietly in God's presence. You don't need to hear an audible voice; simply cultivating attentiveness and stillness is itself a form of prayer.
When You Miss a Day
You will miss days. The question is how you respond. Don't treat a missed day as a reason to give up — simply begin again. The Puritan Thomas Watson wrote that "a bruised reed shall he not break" — God's patience with our faltering efforts in prayer exceeds what we can imagine. Consistency over months and years matters far more than any single perfect day.
Resources to Help You Go Deeper
- A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller — practical and theologically grounded
- Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God by Timothy Keller
- The Book of Common Prayer — a historic liturgical resource for structured daily prayer